absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
