It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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