Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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