I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
