i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
