It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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