no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
