And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
