i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I would fuck him just for his dog
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
