My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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