Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
