I need help removing her.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
