Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
