Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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