your thong is hanging out like whoa
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
