my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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