their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think my tv is drunk
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
