At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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