so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
