Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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