would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
