Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
