then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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