no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
