8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize