I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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