She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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