I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
