That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
