Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
