remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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