I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
