youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
