Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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