did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
stop calling my apartment porn island.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
