Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
