You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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