if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
