An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm too high and old for this...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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