I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
