3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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