good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
