I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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