I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
