so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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