Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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