I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i think i just lost a toe
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