He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
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They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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