a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I need a beard to bite.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
