Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize