I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
