too bad you live with your parents still
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
