i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
