You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
