I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize