Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize