i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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