haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize