It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
