3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
