things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
