haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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