Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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