I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
