Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
