FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My feet surprised me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
