Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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